Almost every radical I've spoken to or read on blog sites who has filled in one of those 'How should I vote?' Internet surveys has been told they should vote Liberal Democrat. As we know, come election day, they will not vote Lib Dem and Chat Show Charlie will be asked to spend more time with his baby before June comes round. John O'Farrell has been playing with himself in secret.

Paul Merton on the perfectionist and comic genius Buster Keaton.