Famous for 5 minutes...

I have absolutely no idea what he is going to say, but, apparently this blog is going to feature on a Channel 4 podcast. (Actually, in my ignorance, I don't actually know what that means either)

The world turned upside down

David Cameron is today expected to say that the Conservatives should abandon the "lazy assumption" that the private sector is always best. Well, welcome to Damascus, Dave, there's plenty of room for repenting sinners here. Let's hope those New Labour modernisers are listening too.

Q & A with Tony Benn

Readers question Tony Benn in The Independent

Where have all the Labour rebels gone?
ROGER HEWELL, BATH

Some former Communists are now in the Government because a shift of allegiance from the Kremlin to Downing Street is a natural process. The rest are in the House of Lords.
TONY BENN

Not so 'comical Ali'

He was the favourite joker in the pack for comedians and bloggers alike at the time of the invasion. Only George Bush attracted more derision than the man the media dubbed 'Comical Ali'. Well, as this article suggests.... not all of his 'jokes' are quite so funny now.

Football in the war zone

Iraq prepares (warily) for the World Cup. From a country that once celebrated sports- football (soccer) especially- to a country that worries if the male football players are wearing long enough shorts or whether all sports fans will face eternal damnation… That’s what we’ve become.

Ivanhoe to leave?

No, no no.... please, tell me it's not true. This will ruin my Sunday lunchtimes in the pub.

An interesting defence ploy...

Dukes escaped jail today after it was argued he would not be able to cope with a prison term. Is that a reason for not sending someone to prison? If so, precisely what value is there in the 18 month suspended sentence?

What is football to you...

Although football these days is still a game watched mostly by the working class (although increasingly with a Sky Subscription) it has become almost an obsession of the chattering classes and others. What my mate Ernie calls the 'Honbyisation' of the game, where every middle class prat 'supports' some team or other. Blair with his fake Newcastle memories, Michael Howard who managed to support about 4 teams in a desperate effort to get someone to support him, and Chelsea who seem to attract so many media and political celebs it is a wonder anyone else can get in the ground. Dave Hill ponders the question, "what does football mean to you" in the Guardian uber-blog, and some of the comments are great. Such as this by someone called Betarish... "Dave, if you've had a quick perusal of David Winner's 'Those Feet', you'll discover that football - at least the way it's played here - is all about the projection of late-Victorian masculine values, and the repression of masturbation. I haven't yet seen any convincing evidence that disproves him..." only to be followed by this riposte ... "BetaRish this cannot be true look Manchester United, Chelsea, Sheffield United chock full of wankers."

Cracked Actor

Altogether now... AAAhhh. People are being unkind to poor Adam, and saying nasty things about. Poor little diddums. He's a lovely boy and why don't these howwible people leave him alone or Iain is going to scweam the house down? He's not as dumb as he looks (apparently) which looking at the photo must be a great relief to all those around him. Errm, Adam, I mean, not Iain.

Stroking the dog

As someone who is not a pet lover, I find it mildly amusing when someone spends a lot of time stroking a dog, only to find it jumps up and bites them in the bum. A similar principle applies to this blog posting by Iain Dale. The Tories love 'free market' principles. They are the hallmark of Thatcherites everywhere. The strong survive, the weak get squeezed and go to the wall. So businesses grow at the expense of other businesses who are unable to compete with the sheer economic power of their rivals. The powerful exploit their position in the so-called 'free' market to the disadvantange of their weaker rivals. It's a jungle out there, Jim, but it's life as we know it. As Iain Dale notes, small specialist shops, like record shops and book shops cannot compete with supermarkets and the huge Internet based companies, so you are left with whatever they want you to read or hear. Surprisingly, Iain, it's no different for bakers, or butchers shops, or small delis... or even cinemas. These businesses cannot compete with the huge corporate buying power of Tescos, Sainsburys, Asda or MGM. But hey, perhaps there is hope yet. If we wait long enough for these giant conglomerates to keep swallowing up their rivals... all we will have to do is nationalise the one company and then we can start planning a proper society based on equity, justice and diversity.

Come on England

I would love it if the England football team win the World Cup. Not necessarily because they are the best team in the tournament, but just to shut up those who seem to spend their waking hours looking for a reason to attack the manager. Eriksson isn't in the same position as Mourinho, Wenger, Ferguson etc. He can't fill the team with overseas imports, or lash out £30 million on a new player to fill a gap. He is blessed with the players we've got, and in the few weeks a year he has them he has to try to blend them into a team. When he took over from Keegan six years ago we didn't even look like we were going to qualify for the World Cup Finals. Now, we are not only going, we have a realistic chance of getting to at least the semi-final stages, and if Rooney had been fit, we may even have gone all the way. I suspect most of the hostility to Sven is from the Londoncentric media because he doesn't pick all of their favourite Spurs players at the same time, or because he wasn't cheerful chirpy cockney Terry Veneables (one of THE most overrated managers in football history)... oh yes, and the usual diet of xenophobia that has persisted since his appointment, which prompted the useless Jeff Powell to write this crap at the time: "So, the mother country of football, birthplace of the greatest game, has finally gone from the cradle to the shame. We've sold our birthright down the fjord to a nation of seven million skiers and hammer throwers who spend half their lives in darkness." If there was just one reason to win the tournament, it would be sufficient just to shove those words up Powell's rectum!

PS - Whilst we are talking football... I note that Karren Brady, Managing Director of the porno merchants football club, has criticised Birmingham City Councillors. Brady says that they are "leading the City into mediocrity". Whilst I wouldn't argue with the gorgeous pouting Karren's assessment of the Tory-Lib Dem coalition's dreadful record over the last two years, the words "glass", "houses" and "stones" come to mind.

The collected thoughts of Steve Freedom (sic) ... or should that be sick!

In a typically thorough way, Ministry of Truth has exposed Sandwell BNP Councillor Simon Smith (a.k.a. Steve Freedom) for what he really is. With views such as:

"The reason why Blacks disproportionately don’t vote is that the frontal part of the brain associated with postponing immediate gratification is not so well developed as in other races.
I mean having to go all the way down the street and marking cross on a piece of paper doesn’t bring sex, drugs or the latest pair of trainers."

It is a long, long post, but well worth the read. I suspect the Sandwell electorate were not exposed to this crap before they voted for him. It should also be required reading for those 'liberals' who thought it didn't matter if a few BNP racists were elected.... as long as you didn't vote Labour, eh?

Max loves Dave

Max Hastings writing in The Guardian, dribbles and drools unashamedly over the boy Cameron. The response below in the comments section says everything necessary:

"What a load of embarrassing sycophantic drivel. Were you paid to write this? Where's the insight and analysis? It reads like a slavering lobotomised Daily Mail editorial. Cameron is an ad man in a suit who sits down with a coterie of spindoctors to decide what records he'll play on Desert Island discs will hit the headlines. Everything about him has been transparently phoney - from the patronising "cycling to work" and Norweigian glacier photoshoots to his ridiculous attempts to set the news agenda with policy-lite speeches about "wellbeing". Is this the same "Dave" who helmed the last disgraceful xenophobic Tory election campaign that reeked of divisiveness and negativity? Note that whilst Cameron smiles to the camera, the same creepy Thatcherite Tories sit smugly in the wings - Hague, Redwood, Howard. Cameron thinks he's clever, but despite his manipulation of the media he's no intellect and has been clumsily inconsistent. Easy to feel good about life encouraging the plebs to forget money and be happy with their lot when you have millions stashed in the bank, for example. Then gatecrash a tacky Posh 'n' Becks' party."

Sandwell BNP member Simon Smith claims I got it wrong when I quoted his confused mate saying the British Nazi Party were a German Party. Incredible really, because I was in the meeting, and Smith wasn't even in the room! More BNP lies masquerading as the truth.

One of the best...

As trade union General Secretary's go, Paul Mackney is right up there with the best. I sat briefly with Paul on negotiations about preventing redundancies at the Walsall College of Continuing Education. He was brilliant and I learnt so much about negotiating in those few hours a week. Paul will not be a candidate for General Secretary of the new University and College Union next year. His health has been bad over the last year, and he knows as well as anyone that the graveyards are full of comrades who thought they were irreplaceable, although when I saw him at the Chavez meeting a couple of weeks ago he was looking good. Well, Paul has just made his final speech as General Secretary of NATFHE after nine years at the helm. It reads like a good one.

Nazi blogger

Well, another Sandwell MBC Councillor has started a blog site. Recently elected British Nazi Party member Simon Smith is giving the world the benefit of his views, which seem to include a belief in flying saucers and the notion that the moon landings are a hoax! (Conspiracy theorist, you think?) Smith also thinks the September 11th attacks on the World Trade Centre and the Pentagon were concocted by the US to allow them an excuse for world domination. Convinced he is no doubt a target for the spooks, he concludes with: If I die in a car crash or other suspicicious circumstances you will know why ! Maybe...but will you care a toss!

Tangled up in blue

I'm afraid I didn't listen to 'Dave's' Desert Island Discs, like Hughesy, I stuck with Freddie and co. on the basis that even Monty spins better than Cameron. Anyway, over at Dave, Nice but Knave you can read the alternative lyrics to Tangled up in Blue.

Mad Mel

I am reluctant to give any oxygen to someone of such exterme right wing views, but Melanie Phillips does seem to have finally left the Planet Reason. Not the least of which because she holds this potty view that Britain has effectively capitulated to Islamofascists and become the Muslim terror capital of the world, or Londonistan as she calls it. Interestingly, in an article in The Observer, she traces the roots of alienation of British Muslims (which in Phillips' world view is taken for granted) to two events. The Rushdie affair over The Satanic Verses, and the slaughter of Muslims by Christians in Bosnia. Whilst I am sure both of those things have contributed to a degree of alienation felt by some Muslims, it is peculiar that Melanie doesn't give a name check to her favourite government in the whole world... Israel. If there is any single factor which has radicalised Muslim opinion, not just in the UK but across the world, it has been the disgust with which people have viewed the Israeli treatment of the Palestinian people. Instead of delving into that sorry affair, Phillips still faithfully prints trash such as the blatant lies in a recent story that Jews in Iran are made to wear yellow ribbons, which even she was later forced to retract as false.

When I first became a shop steward in the 1960's it was at the Hardy Spicer drive shaft factory in Erdington, Birmingham. The Transport and General Workers Union convenor at the time was Bill Morris, who went on to become General Secretary of the TGWU, a Govenor of the Bank of England and Sir Bill. I always thought Bill was made to be a full-time official... always on the lookout for a moderate way solution. His equivalent in the National Society of Metal Mechanics, Graham Gould, was always far more robust, militant and aggressive, like Jimmy Cagney on speed. Strangely, whether by his choice or theirs, Graham never became a full time official, nor did he get the queen's gong. Hardy Spicer was taken over by GKN, and when the Harold Wilson referendum took place over continued membership of the Common Market, management dished out car stickers to everyone calling for a 'Yes' to Europe result. Enough to make anyone a Eurosceptic in my book and I forecast at the time that as soon as they got the 'yes' vote they would shift production to Europe (at last, 30 years later, I can say 'I told you so'). Anyway... it looks like the next document the workforce get from their employer is likely to be a P45. The deindustrialisation of Britain, started under Thatcher and continued unabated through Major and Blair, carries on relentlessly.

Keep it in your trousers

There's an interesting vacancy being advertised working in the office of a rising star of an MP that people may find 'interesting' . OK, it may be that he's a backbencher now, but as we all know, big things are predicted. Interestingly, the post come with an offer of accommodation.... but you may want to give that some careful consideration.

If Iain Dale and co. are putting together a follow-up volume to their book of Labour sleaze... they might want to start by looking at Conservative controlled Walsall where an employee who questioned the authority for Council spending was told "This is an email which will self-destruct if an auditor comes within 10ft of it." One question stands out like a sore thumb. Why wait until the day of the Employment Tribunal before coughing up with a six-figure payment to him? Answers, headed, 'Stating the Bleeding Obvious', to the Leader of the Council, Walsall.

You couldn't make it up (continued)

I've just come back from a Council Scrutiny meeting to consider the work programme for the coming year, which was attended by one of our new 'colleagues'. In response to an allegation from a member of the public that the Council should scrutinise how Nazis get on the Council, he took umbrage and said, "I would like to remind you that I am in the British National Party... the British Nazi Party is German!!!" Doh!

Pain in the arse

Steve at Occupied Country, in one of his visits to this world, says that the Opus Dei pracice of wearing such a medievil, barbaric device as a cilice might just explain why "Ruth Kelly's got a face like a slapped arse". This got me looking at other sadistic practices this sect embark on, and there's a list of some of their Corporal Mortification's here. I think if I was ever daft enough to think about joining I might want to try the entry level... such as drinking coffee without milk or sugar, or not buttering one's toast.

Fly the Flag (Part deux)

I'll risk the wrath of the 'wrap yourself in our flag' brigade again... Nowadays, when you see an England flag on a car, sprawled across a T-shirt, or flapping from a novelty hat, you no longer assume the owner is a dot-brained xenophobe. Instead you assume he's just an idiot. And you're right. He is.

I saw a car in West Brom yesterday with two Soviet hammer and sickle red flags in the rear windows... Mick, I didn't know you could drive!

Fly your Flag

I've just caught up with this via Shooting Parrots. Apparently, from May 2006 there's a new bad motorist award.

A smooth and orderly transition

Steve Bell on Honest John the power broker. His Home Secretary cartoon today is pure genius.

Eyes on the Prize

New estimates of the oil reserves in the ground under Venezuela mean, according to US writer Steve Lendman that...

"the US is now planning a fourth attempt to oust Hugo Chavez by whatever means it has in mind. I think the wheels of its plan are now in motion, but we won't know what will unfold until the fireworks begin. With the information now available and published here, I feel more certain than ever that US instigated serious trouble is heading toward Venezuela and maybe harsher than we might expect. Venezuela's likely total oil reserves are potentially so great that the country has to be the grandest of grand prizes for the US. It's a virtual certainty the US will do anything it takes to try to seize and control it. For those of us who respect the sovereign rights of all nations and the obligation their leaders have above all else to serve the needs of their people, we can only hope Hugo Chavez is prepared for what he knows is coming and will again succeed in deterring it."

You couldn't make it up...

Most people won't have heard of the England First party. There's no real reason that you should have done because they're crackers, but they did persuade the people of Blackburn and Dawen to elect two of these divvies on to their local Council. Anyway, I digress. They are anxious that you distinguish between the 'England First Party'... and the 'English First' Party (there's a touch of the Judean People's Front in this I think)... because English First Party is run by.... a Welshman! What the England First Party don't tell you on their web site is.... one of their newly elected councillors whose manifesto called for a ban on mixed-race marriages.... is of African descent.

Paperback writer

One of my favourite authors is the excellent Joe R. Lansdale, and I'm currently reading Sunset and Sawdust (which you can blag second hand off Amazon for less than a couple of quid). Lansdale is pretty pissed about people who want his autograph, or for him to sign a book, but don't include a s.a.e. or a book. They sometimes threaten to not buy his books if he does not respond. He will not be blackmailed. If they had a book, they would send it. If they have a book and won't send it with return postage, they may keep it and use it to level their washing machine or boxed autograph collection. They can save themselves the purchase of future Lansdale books. This would please him. The choice is theirs.

Watching them watching me...

How nice to see that the knuckledraggers from the BNP on Sandwell Council have been visiting my Council website. I can assure them, I'll be keeping a very close watch on what goes on theirs too!

Richard McIlkenny has died

I met Richard McIlkenny in the early 1990's and you could not wish to meet a quieter, nicer, more humble man anywhere. The notion that he was a member of a gang of terrorists who had blown up two pubs full of innocent people was instantly ridiculous, and the people who tortured and terrorised a confession out of him, and the prison officers who brutalised him over the years, must have known that. Richard died aged 73 at the weekend, but the British state turned 16 years of his life into a nightmare.


Richard McIlkenny after been 'taken in for questioning'

The new Sun rises..

I saw Kelvin MacKenzie on Newsnight in the week nominating an Independent headline as one of the 'most memorable headlines' feature they are running. I rarely agree with anything the loathsome MacKenzie says, but he did strike a bit of a chord with this. He said that although the so-called 'quality' newspapers sneer at the tabloids like The Sun, they have learnt the lesson of using the sensational banner headline.

The Independent seems to have taken this to a new level. News on the front page seems to have been ditched altogether for a full page new 'Exclusive' sensational banner headline every day. It's a bit like Alistair Campbell and his drive for a new initiative before breakfast every morning. Take today's Independent on Sunday. An initiative which should be applauded becomes... The Fat Police. For years people have been saying we need to move away from a National Sick Service to a proper National Health Service, concentrating on early interventions and diagnosis and preventative health care. Now it is being suggested that obesity and body fat levels should be identified early, and parents invited to consider varying the diet for their children, the Independent turns it into a full page headline giving the impression the health gestapo from the nanny state (that's the nanny state which will have to raise everyone's taxes to deal with the obesity related problems in later life) are going to be kicking your door down and shoving lentils down the throats of our kids. It's just cobblers, and making sensationalism a substitute for news. By all means give us that sort of headline grabbing when there is an important issue, but this daily 'Exclusive' approach just doesn't work.

The Million Pound employment tribunal

Some months ago the Leader of Conservative controlled Walsall Council claimed I had a vendetta against the Council. Well, it appears I'm not the only one. Dismissal Payment could reach one million pounds. Ten years ago the Labour Party expelled leaders of their controlling group on Walsall Council because of alleged misdemeanours. Four years ago the Chief Executive and the entire senior management of the Council were effectively replaced following a damning report by the Audit Commission which accused the Council of having a 'culture of bullying'.

Well, perhaps the Leader or Chief Executive of Walsall Council will explain to the public exactly what you have to do to an employee in order for them to be awarded a million pounds in compensation for an Employment Tribunal settlement.

Oh happy day

Get the champers on ice... get the paste table down from the loft ready for the street party, dust down those grave dancin' shoes, get ready to boogie.... because according to Recess Monkey, the Beeb are getting ready for a very joyous occasion.

Any bets on Blair outlasting Ming?

When Ming Campbell was elected Leader of the Lib Dems it was hinted by some that he was a stop gap because no-one could agree on which of the other circling vultures should get the job. Certainly from the media reaction to Campbell's first three months it would appear the alternatives may not have too long to wait. There's still a chance for the Lib Dem's to admit they were wrong. UK Political Hack and myself are ready to support our man. Give Hemming a chance, we say. He wouldn't be any better, but we would all get a good laugh out of it.

Money (That's What I Want)

You never give me your money
You only give me your funny paper
and in the middle of negotiations
you break down.

Another good reason to boycott Heinz

Via The Guardian Newsblog it would appear they are intending to not only deny us the pleasure of putting HP sauce from Aston on our beans on toast, they want to make the bloody meal for us too! I like the comment from someone whose name I had better not use who says: "Why not just cut out the middleman and flush it straight down the toilet? Sounds like the best option for this. Bleurgh."

RED

Today's special RED Independent is designed to highlight issues around world poverty.

I hate this job..

A new blog dedicated to everyone living in Dead End Street... This job sucks!

'Cette sauce de haute qualite ...'

When I was a kid my auntie lived in one of the 'yards' opposite the HP Sauce factory and just down a bit from the Ansells Brewery in Aston. We used to go and visit her on Sunday afternoons when my Uncle Donald was living there. The memory of that combination of malt, hops and vinegar smells coming from the brewery and the sauce factory is something that has remained with me all of my life. Later on, after my aunt had pegged it, we used to park the old motor by HP whilst the 'old man' had a couple of brown & mild's at Aston Cross before we trekked through Aston Park and down the hill to the match. Ansells and HP were on a hill and stood out as a landmark to people in Aston and beyond... and if you couldn't see them, you could sure as hell smell them until you got to Saltley where the smell of the gasworks (and St Andrews, we used to say) took over.

Well, the old fellah's dead, Ansells became Allied Breweries, which became Carlsberg Tetley and their beer (mild?) is now brewed in Burton I think. Now HP Sauce has been taken over by Heinz, who have announced they are to close the factory and move production of 'our sauce' to Holland. The Heinz spokesperson said, "Heinz's strategy is to invest and maintain a network of world class manufacturing facilities. We recognise the impact this could have on our employees and the community, and we are committed to helping them through this difficult period." Cobblers!

Well, that's it. I was going to say they can shove their sauce up their bottle, I'm switching to Daddies from now on.... but someone told me last night that Daddies is owned by.... HP Foods. So, I'll bloody well do without!

"By accident or design, this gives the appearance of an unpopular minority party being cheated of office by the paid staff of the ruling party" says the reactionary Laban at UK Commentators in a post entitled What the Hell happened in Kingstanding? Oddly, he goes on to say he isn't particularly surprised if this was the case given track record of Labour and the Lib Dems.

Unfortunately for poor Laban... Birmingham is controlled by... The Tories and their little yellow friends in the Lib Dems. Shame to let the facts get in the way of a good smear though.

Defective?

There seems to have been a shift of some of Cameron's craziest towards the BNP. First there was this one. Then there was another. Now I hear rumours that a Tory in Sandwell has approached the BNP for membership. Well, his credentials are immaculate.

Ooh ah, Chavez no se va

Chavez in London

'A' list, 'C' grade, B happy

I've missed most of the fun about Cameron's 'A' listers over the last week, (two hard to swallow defeats in a week Iain - dredge the Taff quickly) but this is a nice headline "I can't believe I'm a Tory" says 'A' list candidate Louise Bagshawe (who???). Neither can I, but I'm bloody glad she is. Another hilarious 'A' lister, the limp Adam Rickitt, who's claim to fame was having made Helen Worth (aka Gail Tilsley/Potter/Platt/Hillman) look like an actress, is 'profiled' in The Indie.

Don't despair comrades. Keep your nerve. Cameron will save us yet.

Welcome Hugo

Off to London this afternnon to the Mayor's welcome to Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez. Venezuela's president is using oil revenues to liberate the poor - no wonder his enemies want to overthrow him. There's more here and here.

Greetings from Krakow

The newspapers are a day late here in Krakow, but Michael Meacher's article in The Guardian were music to my ears this morning.

I never really appreciated the fact that the BNP were so deeply involved in 'art'. BNP man denies making 'gay porn' film.

Despite the danger of being accused of being "obsessive"... I note that the greasy Cameron Crew have overlooked Iain Dale for their 'A' list of candidates. We really shouldn't be surprised though. This slimy bunch of jerks, who barely tolerate Iain's old mentor David Davis, are looking for sheep created in their own image. Still, at least it gives the public a glimpse of the problems inside Cameron's crumbling castle. Yesterday's Times showed that Labour, following 'Black Wednesday' was on 49% in the opinion polls. Last weekend, after the worst week in Blair's political life... the tories couldn't get through the 40% mark. In a month's time I forecast the Tories will be back down around the low 30% mark.

Anti-Socialist Behaviour Orders

Austin Mitchell suggests the Prime Minister should be served with an ASBO - Anti-Socialist Behaviour Order.

ASBOs provide the perfect way of dealing with the Blair anti-socialist behaviour problem. On behalf of the party Prezza should offer him a short term employment contract for one year as Leader, on condition that he agrees to a few minimal conditions.

1. No new initiatives
2. No new "reforms"
3. No new fund-raising loans or gifts
4. No new Lords, Academy Schools or Trust Schools
5. No more re-shuffles and no new Ministers appointed without election by those members of the PLP without official appointments.
6. No new wars and troops home from any war that does not involve British interests by 2007
7. No screwing on or up the job.

Sign here please.

Taking the P...

John Prescott rounds on his critics. Is this the supreme example of taking the piss? He should have been with me trying to get people out to vote last Thursday if he wanted some critics to round on. People who have voted Labour for ever were complaining about Charles Clarke and the Home Office... but it was as nothing compared to the bile they poured on the head of our venerable Deputy Prime Minister. Badmouthing Heseltine is not the answer. Labour people knew Heseltine was a tart without having to be told by John Prescott. In every other job that I can think of, shagging your junior staff in works time and on works premises usually means dismissal, and that's what everyone else knows too.

BNP not welcome here

Anti-Fascists in Birmingham wait to 'greet' Sharon Ebanks as she comes to sign in after the election she never won.

On the buses

If you should happen to be travelling on a bus in the West Midlands, just be very clear if you ask for a ticket to.. Walsall.

Beware the bogey men cometh

A lot of Labour MPs were critical of Margaret Hodge for warning of the potential of the BNP last week. She was accused of 'talking them up' on one hand, or of trying to frighten people into voting Labour on the other. Well, over the weekend John Reid has been playing the same game. Anyone talking, or even thinking to themselves, about Tony Blair bearing responsibility for last week's election defeats, are just "wanting to shift back to old Labour", says Reid. The message he is trying to convey is clear: if you want the government to stop attacking public sector pensions, stop the privatisation agenda, stop the endless inspection regimes in the NHS and local government, stop wasting billions on ID cards, halt the lapdog approach to the US Government, and end the sleazy honours system... you are just pining for 'Old Labour'. You really want to return to the days when rubbished piled up in our streets, a handful of trade union barons stopped the dead being buried and we scrapped nuclear weapons and allowed Russian brutes to rape our women and pillage the countryside.

Of course, this is total nonsense. What you might want is what people thought they voted for in 1997. More investment in our public services, an end to sleazy politicians, a better deal for pensioners, an ethical foreign policy, an end to mass unemployment, and social and economic policies based on equity and fairness.

What Doctor Reid needs to realise is that William Hague, IDS and Michael Howard all played the bogey man card... and it didn't work for them and it won't work for him.

The court should kick the fascist out

Birmingham City Council is to support the Labour candidate in her bid to overturn the result of last Thursday's election which was wrongly announced by the Chief Executive as having been won by the racist BNP. The fascist party's candidate, Sharon Ebanks intends to sign in tonight (5pm UAF demo, if anyone's around) in a bid to keep the seat. The fact that the announced result showed over 12,000 votes had been cast, when there could only have been a maximum of 9,962 doesn't seem to bother the fascists at all.

What is it about Birmingham and elections?

Today on Radio 4 someone said they hoped Tony Blair wouldn't be forced out of Downing Street in the back of a car weeping in the manner of Baroness Brassy of Finchley in 1990. It brought memories of that wonderful, wonderful moment flooding back. Truly one of those abiding images that remain with you and can be recalled with affection all of your days.


Tory blogger Iain Dale poses with Thatcher's dummy at Madame Tussaud's. Looks almost real.... (Iain, that is).

Farewell to Highbury

25 years to the week when myself and thousands of other Aston Villa fans stood at the Clock End with tears in our eyes, Arsenal fans will do the same today as they say Farewell to Highbury. (Actually, we've had tears in our eyes at Higbury pretty often in the 25 years that followed). For years we had a collective scorn (jealousy?) for Arsenal with their boring, functional 1-0 victories (a mantle now adopted by Chelsea) but in the last decade they have turned from the ugly duckling into the swan, and their football in full flow is unrecognisable from the dross most of us have grown accustomed to. I wish them well in their bid to get back into the ill-named 'Champions League'. The fact that it would be at the expense of Tottenham, who cling to forty year old outdated notions that they are the 'dream team' makes it even sweeter. If the 'Arse' don't make it today it will add extra spice to the forthcoming match with Barcelona, and potentially pour on extra bitterness for the Spurs fans who will be shoved into a EUFA Cup that increasingly resembles the Inter Toto Fiasco Cup.

Chavez is coming to Town

Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez is coming for a fairly low key visit to London the week after next... and if Andy at Venezeuela Solidarity comes good with the invitations, I'll be able to report first hand details of his meeting in London with supporters of the Bolivarian revolution. On the eve of his visit, The Observer profiles Chavez.

Austin Mitchell on succession planning... "All this makes the strongest case for my proposed constitutional rule that for leaders, and particularly Prime Ministers, it should be eight years and then out. After that they're broken or barmy or both."

Mitchell also hits the target on wealth distribution: "The great handicap of the left is, because we have to give a little to a lot whereas the Tories give a lot to the few and everyone else hopes to benefit, there's no gratitude vote. People are better off but not much. They are all being pushed and worked harder. More jobs, but badly paid ones. The benefits of health and education improvement aren't widely realised because expectations rise with spending."

The coalition tie

I was at the polling station on Thursday when who should turn up bringing his parents to vote, none other than the Leader of Birmingham City Council, Mike Whitby. Mike's parents, like Mike, have far too much sense than to live in Tory/Lib Dem run Birmingham. They all reside in Sandwell. Mike was resplendent in his Coalition tie, which is best described as a sort of washed-up blue with irritating little yellow spots.

Ian Dale has had great fun over the last couple of weeks at the expense of Prezza and his reported antics in the office. Interestingly, I was speaking to a national journalist at the count on Thursday (despatched North to cover a potential victory for the Nazi Party) who told me all is not well in the Office of one of Iain's political buddies. From what he said, although the Shadow Cabinet Member doesn't appear to be having problems in the trouser department, there are other issues about retaining members of staff (allegedly). I can't go into too much detail at the moment (Tories often try to silence these things by issuing writs, knowing you may not be willing to mortgage the house to prove you were right), but the journo took my e-mail address and said he would tip me off if they could stand it up, so to speak. Anyone wanting more details could always apply HERE.

I have absolutely no idea how these people arrived at my blog site, nor do I have the faintest idea what they are up to. Perhaps I shouldn't have mentioned I'm going to Krakow, because the picture with someone holding the Union Flag might be a bit ominous. Perhaps The BNP people are still over there in a small enclave. Anyone here speak Polish?

Invading Poland

I was just telling my old mate Ernesto I had booked a short break in Krakow next week as a post-election wind down. "Take some of your new colleagues with you" he said, "they were there in 1939!"

Anyway, I can agree with at least some of what one newly elected BNP councillor says:
Russell Green, who won a seat in Sandwell, said: "After tonight's results we can all see that the BNP is on its way.

"It is plain to see that the vast majority of us are sick..."

Oops...

Forgot to post the result.

Ewart Johson (Con) 969
Bob Piper (Lab) 1592
Roger Prior (Lazy-arse) 695

On a 40% turnout.

The May 2007 Election Campaign in Abbey starts today.

I'll mention the stain on the night later, but for now, it's thank you time.

First off, (as all the best Oscar speeches do) I'd like to thank Liz and the kids. They have to put up with the nervy candidate (and the grumpy councillor) all year round, as well as helping out in the campaign.

Then I'd like to thank: Ann, Steve, Pam, Sita, Dave, Clare & Owen, Patrick, John & Richard (the Youth Movement), Cait, Andy, Ceri (& Laurence), Laura and Alex, Jim, Steven, Rod, Phil & Annie, Mark, Abi, Lesley, Adrian, Carole and John. They did between them; posters, printing leafletting (22,000 is one hell of a lot of tree) canvassing, covering polling stations, and getting out the vote.

I'd like to thank Ewart Johnson for at least trying to run a campaign with virtually no help, and doing so with good humour. You had to have a sense of humour to walk about all day on polling day with a bright tartan waistcoat on. As one of my helpers said, "It's a pity Ewart didn't get out more, it would have done us a power of good."

I'd like to thank my Liberal Democrat opponent... but I'm not going to. The lazy-arsed swine never did a thing. No leaflets, posters, canvassing... didn't even bother to come to the count. But I suppose they performed a democratic function in giving my anti-war vote somewhere to put their cross.

I'd like to thank the Labour Party Front Bench... but I'm not going to do that either. They were a total bloody shambles, and as someone said in my comments column... 'a fish rots from the head'. It is time for Blair (and Blairism) to get off the stage. The people have spoken, go before they start to scream. We have seen some good Labour candidates defeated yesterday, and they didn't deserve to be stabbed in the back by their own party. If the opposition were not so deeply mistrusted, it could have been much worse. The bigger fear is that Cameron is giving the right no outlet as he imitates Blair, and the knuckledraggers are the biggest gainers there.

Last... but by no means least, I reserve a giant thank you to the 1591 people who voted for me to continue to represent them on behalf of the Labour Party. You deserve better from your Government, but I'll keep on getting on their case and trying to create a better Bearwood. Much to do, and we start today.

The Last Post

This will be my last opportunity to blog before tomorrow's election, and I would like to publicly thank the people who have been out knocking doors and delivering leaflets. I never like to 'count' the votes before they're cast, and the last two weeks behaviour by the Government have surpassed themselves even by their standards in an effort to take everyone down with the ship.

I'll be back on Friday... but it might be as Citizen Bob Piper! Best of luck to all Labour candidates.

There's only one Bosco Jancovic...

It was 25 years today...


I was 'ratted'on the way back from London. On current showing it'll be a bloody sight longer than 25 years until the world sees Aston Villa do that again.

It's OK... the BNP would ONLY kill tens of thousands...

Well, some decent knockabout stuff after the last post eh? I don't actually disagree with much of what the people at Blairwatch were saying actually; just a slight difference of opinion on tactical voting. However... one contemptible piece of dogshit (sorry, contributor) who calls him or herself 'goatchurch' is astonishing for a site which has fairly liberal views. Defending his/her stance of encouraging people to vote for the BNP, goatchurch says that the BNP would have opposed the war in Iraq because "...the BNP wants to harm non-whites only within our national borders. How many do you think they could kill? A few tens of thousands?"

In fact, goatchurch uses the very same stupid calculator as Blair, who says that Saddam Hussein would have killed more than the British and the US, so the war is justified. But what I really cannot believe is that some of these people are suggesting it is OK to elect the BNP.... because they would only kill tens of thousands of immigrants in Britain!!!

Well, perhaps the liberals will explain that one to me.

Update: I'm now getting e-mails from the knuckedraggers telling me how much they support 'goatchurch'.

Blairwatch say Vote Fascist Not Labour

Well, some blog sites advise people to vote tactically, and let's face it, if you're pissed off with Blair, why vote for candidates on the Labour left? ive said it before... if the anti Blair brigade vote for me, Blair will use it as a vote for him. But when a site like Blairwatch advises people that they should vote Fascist, rather than Labour... you've really got to question their political motives. Still, if the fascists make a political breakthrough... and it is more likely in Labour/BNP marginals than Tory/BNP marginals, these muppets will content themselves by the notion that the nation's liberal instincts, carefully protected by enlightened bloggers, will stem the tide of racist filth.

They make me want to vomit!

Hemming Own Goal

At last... a comment about the Lib Dem postal voting fraud in Birmingham from John Hemming saying he will not prejudge someone just because they have been arrested by the police. How very different from two years ago when he consistently did the opposite when it was Labour candidates fiddling the postal votes. In an attempt to deflect the situation away from the current Lib Dem situation, he highlights the postal voting fraud allegations in Tower Hamlets where he presumes Labour are 'at it' and Oxfordshire where he accuses the Tories. Unfortunately for Hemming, Political Hack points out that in Tower Hamlets the Respect National Secretary said.... ""The system is administered by Labour, the main culprits we have discovered so far are the Liberal Democrats."

Time to crawl back into the bunker John.

S**t on the City

To get back from the final night of canvassing... every single home visited, knackered, and relieved the outcome doesn't seem as bad as everyone had said it would be... only to find out that our nearest local derby next year is Manchester City because of this! Gloat... you bet! The text messages have been flying all night.

I've just received this by text. The lad could have looked a bit more impressed I think. Still, his mother is a bit of a Lib Dem... so I guess he must have inherited his brains from his dad.

Could Steve Bruce manage Brazil?

"You have to ask would an Englishman get the Brazilian job," said Steve Bruce, the Birmingham City manager. This from a man who spent millions of pounds on that proven non-goalscorer, Emile Heskey, and seems destined to guide the bluenoses to their natural place in the food chain. Have not Bruce, Linekar and all the other whingers not asked themselves why Manchester United, Chelsea, Liverpool and Arsenal have only had one English manager between them (Roy Evans for England anyone?) in the last decade. As for Martin O'Neill, championed now by Iain Dale amongs others, what has he achieved in his career? What are his qualifications? Two League Cup Final victories, over Middlesbrough and the mighty Tranmere Rovers as manager of Leicester (where he also championed Emile Ivanhoe (that's his name, honestly) Heskey and finishing first in a two horse race when the other horse pulled up lame in Scotland. Oh, and he lost a UEFA Cup Final. If Scolari doesn't get it, let's give Linekar and Brucie their way. Give it to big Sam from Bolton. I bet he'd pick Ivanhoe to charge about like a headless chicken from Robinson's kicks from goal. And hey, he's English (from Dudley, no less).

Michael White on the art of political heckling. "On one occasion, Wilson was talking about his public expenditure plans when a heckler cried, "What about Vietnam?" - the burning issue of the day. "The government has no plans to increase public expenditure in Vietnam," rejoined Wilson. Heckler: "Rubbish!" Wilson: "I'll come to your special interest in a minute, sir."

Steve Bell, spot on as ever.

Wife of Lib Dem candidate arrested over postal vote fraud

No doubt we will shortly see Lib Dem MP and Birmingham City Councillor John Hemming rushing to condemn fraudulent postal voting in Birmingham with the same enthusiasm he condemned it when Labour people were involved two years ago. Of course, Hemming may wait, like his Party Leader on the City Council, for the charges to be proven this time (that would be a nice change) but I suspect a long and protracted silence is more likely.

R.I.P.

Just a brief note to acknowledge the death of Peter Law. Peter refused to accept the dictats of the Blairites who attempted to parachute loyalist UNISON bureaucrat Maggie Jones into the safe Labour seat in Blaenau Gwent. He went it alone, stood as an Independent, and defeated Jones in Labour's safest seat in Wales, previously the political home of Bevan and Foot, by more than 9,000 votes. Just how much the having to split from a Party he had been a member of for more than 40 years, and had represented since the age of 22, that must have hurt Peter cannot be measured. The Party may try to bury his memory, but for many of us it will survive. He did more for Labour in Wales than that sun-tanned prima donna Hain could even dream of.

Only 4%?

Perhaps the amazing thing about the latest ICM Poll in the Guardian is not that Labour's support is falling, but how little it has fallen. Given the seemingly endless supply of own goals on peerages, the NHS and the ever present casualties in Iraq, Labour still records 32% support. The Tories, despite "Dave's" media blitz appear to be making no impact at all, and it will be interesting to see what happens there if they do not capitalise on 4th May.

I've only really got the canvass returns around here to go on, and as everyone knows canvassing can be pretty unreliable. We always work on the probability that about two-thirds of those who say they will support us will actually go out and vote. Well, our returns are down. People who have traditionally said they vote Labour, and have consistently actually voted, are saying they won't support us whilst Blair remains Leader. Not that many, I have to confess, but more than we usually expect to get. Reasons for not supporting us tend to be national issues: privatisation, attack on public sector pensions, the NHS financial issues, and sleaze. Interestingly, hardly any mention of Iraq, which was certainly an issue two years ago. Whilst I make the point that I have spent my working life opposing privatisation, I support the unions on the pension issue and I would abolish the whole system of patronage (as well as marched on several occasions against the illegal invasion of Iraq), I honestly cannot argue with the logic of those who say they will withhold their support because of these issues. If I, as the candidate, cannot defend the Party on these fairly fundamental issues, how can I expect the average voter to ignore them. The one thing that encourages me is that in general these people also have a deep-seated hatred of the Tories and as the Lib Dems are such an idle-arsed bunch (they don't put out a single leaflet or poster, and don't even turn up to their own count) it is unlikely that they will vote at all. All I can say is thank heavens there isn't a Green!

Over at YouTube a compilation of some of the greatest memories of my whole life. There was rarely a better sight in football than the vastly underrated Tony Morley in full flight. Enjoy



Thanks to Black Country Villan.

Bad news for Iain Dale, eh? Not only couldn't he get a ticket to watch the best team in claret & blue to grace Villa Park this season (last Sunday excluded), but I see using Blogcode his website has been closely identified as being an 84% match with this muppet.

Happy 80th Birthday, Ma'am

... or should that be Mom. Yesterday we had a surprise birthday party for 'the old gal' who just so happened to have been born the day after that other woman who made such a fuss about her 'do'. We had a great time and met up with family we don't see so much of these days. Good on yer, gal.

Mentioned in dispatches...

This blog gets a mention today in The Guardian's blog round-up. Unfortunately... the quote they use is not from me at all, but from lib dem supporter, MatGb at Not Little England in my comments box. The quote they used suggests that I would only vote Labour if it meant trying to stop the BNP... which is of course ludicrous, although it could easily be a lib dem's position. Now I'll be in trouble with the Millbank Tendency people again!

Restless Farewell

Very, very spasmodic posting over the next ten days as the push to maximise the vote picks up speed. Although, as Austim Mitchell says... Crosman once said that Labour pretends to give the rank and file influence over policy in return for their work at elections. Both pretences are now gone. Policy comes from the top down, drizzled down like pesto or chucked at us in lumps. The election work is done by professionals paid for by millionaires.

Not round here though.

The danger of Chavez

"The [Venezuelan] government is making billions of dollars [from its state oil company] and spending them on houses, education, medical care," notes CNN. And – gasp -- people's lives are improving.

What if the rest of us noticed? No wonder Chávez has to go.

Mad Mel

Just when virtually every other apologist for the theory of Weapons of Mass destuction in Iraq prior to the invasion seems to have thrown their hand in... Mad Mel Phillips has found conclusive proof that they were actually there. According to her reliable witness, crafty old Sadamm... "gave orders that the scientists who had been working on these programmes were to keep their plans, diagrams, formulas, raw materials and everything else in highly secure underground vaults so that they could continue their work the minute they were no longer being observed..." But that wouldn't explain why they hadn't been found by the invasion forces, would it? We must all recall those excitable news reports where WMD had actually been found by troops in packing cases at the back of a farmhouse outside Bagdhad, which quietly dropped off the news a day or so later when analysts revealed fertiliser was used as... fertiliser. Fear not... if you read on you discover that.... he smuggled them out of the country in commercial airlines in the run up to the US invasion. The source for this information is unable to reveal the names of the people who could confirm his story, so, Mel sharply observes... "This obviously makes verifying his account very difficult." Yes, absobloodylutely. Phillips then floors her reliable witness with this killer of an observation: "But in Britain, I say, people now firmly believe that there were no WMD and that we were taken to war on a lie. Sada looks utterly flabbergasted. ‘How can they possibly think that?’ he asks in bewilderment and anger, and puts his head in his hands." Any chance I can get some of whatever it is she's on.


It wasn't the police that did for Capone... it was the tax man. In the same way, if the Labour Pary nor the electorate get Tony Blair first... maybe the world weary detectives will nail him?

It’s the left wot get’s the blame…

After the fall of the Callaghan administration in 1979, we got it in the neck. It was the trade unions, led by ‘firebrand’ left wing general secretaries (oh, if only) that created the chaos of the ‘Winter of Discontent’ and brought down the government. If only those on the left had encouraged trade union members to accept Healey’s pay cuts and IMF redundancy packages, everything would have been alright.

In 1983, it wasn’t the Falklands War that turned Thatcher from the most despised Prime Minister in history to the glorious war leader and gave the Tories a seciond term they hadn't expected. It was the left, of course. All that guff in the Manifesto about ‘a fundamental redistribution of power and wealth in favour of working people and their families’, that’s what turned the voters against us. I mean, why would working people and their families be interested in that sort of rubbish. It was described (by Hattersley, I think) as “the longest suicide note in history”. It was, of course the left that got the blame for splitting the Party and driving those prototype Blairites, Owen, Rogers, Poppins and Jenkins into the SDP.

When Kinnock lost hopelessly in 1987 and (to a lesser extent 1993) it was the infighting in the Party by the left, the Militiant in particular, that took the brunt of the blame. The left’s insistence that MPs should be reselected each electoral cycle instead of having a job for life was clearly divisive. The notion of giving members a say in policy, and who their leaders should be was clearly absurd and designed to split the Party and alienate the voters.

When Blair won the leadership, he carried on the theme. It was Clause 4 that turned off the voters, despite the fact that probably less than one in 10,000 could tell you what it was or what it said. It was Clause 4 that lost us those elections, and it had to go. It was the debate over Clause 4 that gave Blair the power he has exercised over the Party ever since. He continued his ‘modernisation’ New Labour pro-business right-wing agenda from that day onward with a renewed vigour. That was the moment the Party and the trade unions should have stood up to be counted and said, “you’re talking crap”.

But… they didn’t. The unions (oh yes, those left-wing barons, now re-invented as the Party’s saviours) battered and bruised by Thatcher, Tebbit and Heseltine for all those years, backed off from supporting the left, and Blair’s Clause 4 moment cemented his power over the Party.

However… it is still the left who are to blame. Despite not having a vaguely ‘left’ led Party since Attlee’s Government nationalised the major industries and created the NHS nearly 60 years ago (when they were rewarded by a record number of votes, despite a much smaller electorate than we have now) we are still to blame.

I’ve had e-mails in the last couple of weeks from various eccentrics who obviously don’t understand the interactivity of the ‘comments’ box, and a fair amount of abuse from people who usually hide behind ridiculous blog names such as ‘Dick Cheney’ … at least, I think it’s an invented name, but who knows. Their argument is that it’s the left’s fault (highly original, hey?). If only we resigned from the Party and left it to the Blairites… that would do it. You see, by staying in the Party we are legitimising Labour and Blair. If we left, and did nothing (Lordy, that would really upset him) we could sit by our computers, invent silly names for ourselves, and call Tony Blair names until we were blue in the mouth…. And hey presto, he would resign.

I’ll try, one last time to explain. It’s my position, not that of others on the left, so don’t blame ‘the left’ for it. My roots and background are in the trade union movement. The trade unions, as the only organised force of the working class, are intrinsically linked to the Labour Party. The day they go, I go too. I could take individual action, spout exactly the same views, and because I am well known locally, I might win as an independent and I could still represent people round here. All my instincts, however, are collective. Yes, I support the concept of individual liberties and freedoms, but I also believe in collective action. When my brothers and sisters in the labour movement finally judge they have had enough of fighting inside Labour, I’ll go with them.

Those that don’t like it, just lump it, because calling me names behind your computer screen ain’t gonna work. We’re used to taking the blame.

We ain't gonna work in Maggie's farm no more....

At virtually every meeting of our Constituency Party meeting, with almost monotonous regularity, whatever the subject under discussion, one Amicus shop steward raises the plight of British manufacturing industry. We have almost become anesthetised to it. However, when you see the extent to which some of the most famous brand names in the country have been bought up by overseas companies, you start to see the scale of the problem Malcolm is talking about. Of course, many of the companies listed still manufacture in Britain and the really big job losses only occur when the parent companies choose to shift the manufacturing base. Also, in reality, British capitalists have no more sense of patriotism when it comes to shifting their portfolios about than capitalists world wide, so foreign 'ownership' in a globalised economy, may not be so different in any event. If Britain is to become a post-industrial nation dealing in service industries, retail and the finance sector, Sally Muggeridge poses the question: "At present the clear message we are giving to our brightest and best is that if you want to make things, go somewhere else. The best jobs are in the City, trading in shares and providing financial services. But shares in what exactly, and financial services to whom?"

- Socialist where you can
- Green where they're left
- Labour where you must

A socialist guide to the local elections 2006.

Very liberal. Very, very Liberal. Very, Tory-Liberal.

Steve's back in the Occupied Country with a sad tale, and the story of "No Aids Bob". Catch him while you can and offer some words of encouragement. He posts all too little lately, despite many of us checking in every day.

The honeymoon is over... before it even started.

The Sunday Times Comment on Cameron at the Tory spring conference: "Although he claimed a 40% local election vote share in his speech yesterday, the true picture is that the Tories are achieving a national equivalent vote of just 33%, according to Professors Colin Rallings and Michael Thrasher of Plymouth University. This is lower than the party achieved in local elections between 2002 and 2004, under Iain Duncan Smith and Michael Howard." Surely this is an attempt to talk down the Tories' election chances so that any sort of success can be claimed as a victory? Not even I think Cameron is THAT bad.

Hope versus Hate: Billy Bragg is back.
If the BNP get its target 12-15 councillors across the capital, it is a platform for London Assembly seats next time and the London MEP's seat it narrowly lost in 2004, not least because Ukip - which got 12 - siphoned off some support. The BNP polled 808,000 votes in the Euro-elections last time.

We crossed swords many time over his wish to turn a pub in my Ward into an all-night casino, but he was always pleasant, polite and listened to what we had to say (just not hard enough, unfortunately). Barry de Lacy's funeral was yesterday. Looking at his mates... I should have been more polite to him too!

I was there

There was only 98,000 of us in the world that were there on the day. I wonder how many are still alive to tell the tale?

So, Ian Paisley's sprog blames Sinn Fein/IRA. The BBC Today programme pushes out the standard propaganda which finds PIRA guilty of the Northern Bank Robbery, the McCartney killing, the Donaldson assasination and anything else you want to throw in for good measure. It doesn't matter a toss that the IRA deny it, that Sinn Fein disown it, nor that there's not a jot of evidence other than the totally unfounded assertion of another former IRA informer based in London (and who strangely hasn't been bumped off) that PIRA definitely killed the man. Within hours of the killing the BBC's intrepid presenters have wrapped the case up, dispensed with the evidence, charged the accused and thrown away the key. Interestingly, as the dust starts to settle, the Donaldson family state they have a different view of events. There's a good "grassy knoll" theory in here somewhere.

If you want to vote tactically.... here's your chance...

If 2% of my constituents read Tim’s blog, (although that would be a ridiculously high figure, but hey guys, I’m generous, and it's a very good read, so I would recommend it highly), and 37% of them (the average turnout) bother to vote, and 56% of them are Labour voters (last time around) and half of them were sufficiently persuaded by Tim to take his advice and vote Tory or Lib Dem instead (no fascist here I’m pleased to say…) then I could lose 18 votes this year!!!

But if I don’t get the dogshit cleaned up on the Merrivale Estate, and our local streets continue to be a downright litter-strewn disgrace… I could lose the other 992 votes that also comprised the Labour majority in Bearwood at the last election. So excuse me if I take a few weeks off my strategic bid to persuade Labour members to ditch their leader in the midst of an election campaign. I know, you'll tell me that political parties who show themselves to be fundamentally divided are always on to a vote winner... but I'm not persuaded.

Still, I won’t knock Tim for what he’s doing… because at least he’s doing something! He organises demo’s, he oraganises campaigns for change and creates some brilliant satirical stunts. So if Tim advises people to vote fascist rather than Labour, OK, we’ll just have to live with it. I wouldn’t worry too much anyway, because the fascists are not likely to hang around too long at Bloggerheads to get the message.

On the same theme, I don't think that ‘Dave’ should just dismiss UKIP as loonies or fruitcakes. I barely agree with anything they say, but at least they’ve got the bottle to get on their dogs and DO something, and they are prepared to stand up and put their views to the test.

Must go, time to go canvassing again, and it's bleedin' freezing.

The right wing draw their wagons into a circle as Cameron attacks UKIP for being "fruitcakes, loonies and closet racists". Ohhh dear, trouble brewing, methinks he's looking for that clause 4 moment. You have to admire the response of the UKIP MEP though, when he says.... "I don't mind him calling us loonies..."

So, here's some good news for the 'Anyone but Labour' brigade. The fascist BNP are contesting 21 seats in Sandwell, Dudley and Walsall.

Iain Dale writes a witty Tory blog. OK, that's it for this year, I've said something nice about a Tory. He is so much of an insider to the Tory elite, he even attended this bash. A 'celebrity' occasion to commemorate the 60th birthday of one of the Conservative Party's biggest financiers (and given the current little local difficulties they will hope he lasts a bit longer yet). But who put together the list of 'stars' for the poor old bugger. Cliff Richard? Tom Jones? Lulu? Even Ashcroft must have struggled to remember when they ever did anything memorable. Hosted by the world's unfunniest comedian, Jasper bloody Carrot... what a night. Although the prospect of seeing Ian Duncan Smith and William Hague (who no doubt burped his way through another 16 pints) 'hitting the floor with gusto' must have been a true sight for sore eyes.

The real treat is not mentioned in The Times, but among the guests rocking the night away, were the 'cash for questions' couple, the Hamilton's. How appropriate then, that the charity in receipt of the proceeds was the excellent 'Crimestoppers'.

You have to either buy the paper or subscribe to read Johann Hari in The Indy (and if that was your only reason I'd keep your money in your pocket) but for today's article you can get the thread of his argument from the strapline. Writing about his love for 'Corrie', he says... "In America or France, you simply do not see the poor on TV except as mugshots on the news".

Well, just how real is 'Corrie' and who are these 'poor people'? Is Fred, who owns a butcher's shop and is also licensee at 'The Rovers' one of them? Or Audrey, who owns the hairdressing salon? Or Kevin, the Garage owner? Could it be Steve Macdonald with his taxi company? Maybe Mike, or his son Danny, who own the knicker factory? Roy & Hayley, the owners of Roy's Rolls? Or the university educated journalist and street intellectual, Tory Ken Barlow? Dev, the corner shop owner? Or the rascal who owns the builders yard? (There's always a rascal who owns the builders yard, just to show how rascally the manual classes can be). In one sense this small business owning elite in Coronation Street are like the poor... they are always with us. Fat Stan and Eddie had their window cleaning business before Jack got it, Leonard Swindley had his clothes shop way back when, and Len Fairclough was the rascally builder as long ago as the 1960's.

Even during the height of Thatcher & Co.'s assault on working class communities, someone signing on the dole was a rare sight indeed for Corrie and despite its fictional location as a sort of Moss Side terrace, it took the black population one hell of a long time to find their way into 'The Street'. In the last few years the writers seem to have righted this imbalance and recognised the fact that the sweat shop knicker factory just might have the isolated black person working there.

But to get back to Johann's point... does Coronation Street show the poor? Yes... there is always one family that is poor and 'common' and, of course, lazy and feckless. Step forward... Les Battersby... Coronation Street and the nation's 'poor' person, who has shown his total sense of inadequacy by failing (so far) to develop his own small business. Whilst the rest of the street are consulting with the VAT people, Les stands out like a beacon, he is the Street's representative of the non-working class.

Melanie Phillips: "The US is currently in Iraq at the express request of the Iraqis themselves to defend the innocent against the war being waged against them." I know what you mean Mel, a bit like the Nazis being invited to stay in France at the express request of Marshall Petain.

Nick Cohen slips the stiletto between the shoulder blades of the Tories' greasiest shadow minister, George Osborne. "Cameron and Osborne have been unable to capitalise on the 'sale' of peerages. Their own hucksterism suggests they would have done the same thing if they had been in Tony Blair's shoes. As it is, the politician most likely to benefit from a yearning for the old ways is Gordon Brown, who is neither English nor a gentleman but does know how to behave."

But the really interesting snippet is below that one. Lord Tebbit attacks Labour... from the left! Is this as bad as it gets?

Dave comes clean...."make no mistake about it, the Conservative Party is changing and will no longer, as of today, deal in suitcases full of used fivers without going through the proper and above-board money laundering channels."